Martha’s Kickin’ Tassy!- Pecan Tassies! -250 eggs, 189 3/4 cups of sugar, 193 1/4 sticks of Butter, and 240 cups of flour used so far- 26 recipes to go!

November 5, 2011


Martha's Pecan Tassies

André's Pecan Tassies

Almost a year ago I baked up a batch of Martha’s Lemon Tassies for an event at a friend’s house. While baking these I learned a Tassie is an Old World word used for a cup or chalice. In fact, the word, Demitasse literally translates into – a Half Tassie. How’s that for a morsel of useless knowledge?

Pecan Tassies are delectable, bite-sized treats made with  simple pecan flour and mascarpone crusts filled with egg, brown sugar, vanilla and chopped pecans. They’re a bit like delicate, little pecan pies with a rich and buttery flavor. Easy and quick to prepare, I whipped up a batch of these for my partner, Dan to take to work and share with his staff. I didn’t get any specific feedback from him as to how they were received but he did return with an empty container so I think they were a hit.

I have just about recovered from my time away, hitting the gym everyday this week has afforded me the opportunity to sweat out most of the bourbon I consumed in New Orleans and Dallas. After putting in my hour on the treadmill and the endless laps in the pool in the late afternoon I’m too exhausted to walk home. I make my way to the tiny bus stop and wait for the 27 to take me home. I am convinced the Kansas City Transportation Authority sends the drivers that aren’t up to snuff to work the 27 line. Twice this week the bus was pulled over so the driver could take a phone call on her cell in order to engage in a conversation with her daughter for a good seven or eight minutes. I would find this irritating if her conversation wasn’t so entertaining. This is the same driver who balances a newspaper across the wheel so she can catch up on the local happenings while zooming her human payload precariously through the narrow neighborhood streets. There are cameras on these busses but I am certain no one is looking at these tapes. If they did, they’d quickly discover a gold mine of witty dialogue and professional inappropriateness. I’d love to string the tapes together and offer them up as a new reality TV show. I think I’d call it, Damn, Girl or maybe, Bitch, Please. Because it seems that’s the driver’s response to most everything. Here’s an excerpt I jotted down from my bus ride this past Tuesday:

Driver- (pulling into the stop at the hospital and speaking with an elderly Mrs. Washington as she enters the bus.) Mrs. Washington, is that you? Damn, girl. What are you doing here?

Mrs. Washington- Oh, Charise, is that you, girl? How ya’ been?

Driver- Good. Good. Damn, Girl. I haven’t seen you in a month of Sundays. How’s that daughter of yours?

Mrs. Washington- She done got married and moved to Chicago.

Driver- The hell you say!? Damn, girl. Well who’s watching after you?

Mrs. Washington- Bitch, please. I ain’t that damn old. I don’t need anyone watching after me. Besides my sister’s still in town.

Driver- Yeah, but she’s older than you. Damn, girl. It’s sure is good to see you.

Mrs. Washington- You too, sugar. 

(The driver’s cell phone rings a loud Jay-Z tune)

Driver (picking up her phone)- Damn, girl. That’s my daughter. (To everyone on the bus) Hold up, Y’all. I gotta’ take this. (speaking to her daughter) What did I tell you?! What did I tell you!? Did you talk to him? Well, did you? (pause) Oh, hell no. (pause) Hell no. (pause) I’m going to kill that motherfucker! (pause) Bitch, please. (pause) Are you fucking kidding me? (pause) Awwww. Sounds like you need to take care of that baby, girl. (pause followed by hysterical cackles of laughter) Damn-damn-damn-damn-damn, girl! (pause) Okay. I’ll see you tonight. 

I suspect the drivers in the metro Kansas City area must belong to a very imposing labor union. I can’t imagine anyone doing their job with such reckless impunity without a team of lawyers behind them. That said, I love it.

This past Monday afternoon the bus pulled up and the older male driver stepped off. He told me he had to run to the restroom and then asked me to watch the bus for him, the bus he left running with the doors open. I stepped onto the bus and waited. Over the next fifteen minutes rider after rider stepped onto the bus and looked at me as though I knew where the driver was. I shrugged and told them he was in the bathroom. They, in turn, shrugged and sat down. When the driver finally showed back up with a cup of coffee and a bag lunch he yelled at me for letting people on his bus. “Did they pay the fare?” he asked. “Did they get their transfers?” He then sat down in the driver’s seat and muttered profanities directed towards me under his breath.

This past Thursday, the bus never came. A crowd of people gathered at the stop and finally dispersed when, after 45 minutes there was no sign of a bus ever coming. I’m sure a few of them blamed me for pissing off the driver on Monday.

Yesterday the driver was very sweet. However, there was one gentleman on the bus who had, what I imagine was Tourette’s Syndrome.  He swung his right arm about wildly from time-to-time as if he were punching the air. Each time he’d utter a bit of nonsense, usually a clumsily worded string of profanities.

Here are some of his phrases that I jotted down:

Flamethrower! It burns!

Big Fucking Deal!

Holy Balls!

Dora The Explorer!

I want the turkey!

Shit! Shit! Shit!

Berries! Lots of Berries!

Sharing a bus with this guy was probably not the best way to wind down after a busy day at work.  I think I’m going to opt for walking home next week.

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One Response to “Martha’s Kickin’ Tassy!- Pecan Tassies! -250 eggs, 189 3/4 cups of sugar, 193 1/4 sticks of Butter, and 240 cups of flour used so far- 26 recipes to go!”

  1. Scott Says:

    Laugh Out Loud


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