The Icebox Cometh- Striped Icebox Cookies-14 eggs, 6-3/4 cups of sugar, 6 1/4 sticks of Butter, and 9 cups of flour used so far- 167 recipes to go!

March 22, 2010

Martha's Striped Icebox Cookies

André's Striped Icebox Cookies

There are probably phrases one would never hear in an NFL locker room. “I hate my rolling pin…” for instance.

Well, that and, “Did you see who was on The View this morning?”

Today’s recipe comes from the Crispy & Crunchy section of Martha’s book and is a fairly simple cookie to make, if you have a couple of hours to kill. Icebox cookies are exactly what you would think they would be; a simple cookie you keep in the freezer. When you want cookies, you cut off what you need from the frozen cookie block and bake. Voila! – Cookies!

Start with 3/4 cup of dried cherries, and  1/3 cup of red preserves.

Seriously, Martha says you can use any red jam you want. Thanks to the Kool Aid Corporation, I’ve considered the color red a flavor since childhood. Mom would ask what kind of Kool Aid I wanted and I knew as long as it was Red, I’d like it. I imagine Martha’s favorite Kool Aid flavor would be Bergamot Lime Verbena with a hint of Rosemary.

Add a tablespoon of sugar to the red jam and dried cherries and give them a whirl in a food processor.

I love my food processor. I bought it at a garage sale for fifty cents. If you think you can’t buy happiness, you haven’t been to the right garage sales.

In a small saucepan, boil the muddled mixture of cherries, sugar, and red-whatever till it boils. Remove from heat and add 1/4 tsp of almond extract, then allow the mixture to cool. This jelly will become the stripes in your Striped Icebox Cookies.

To make the dough, take a stick of butter and a cup of sugar, then whip them together in your stand mixer till light and fluffy. Meanwhile whisk together flour, baking powder, cornmeal, and salt in a separate bowl. Add 1 egg to the fluffy butter & sugar combo and a tsp of pure vanilla. Add your flour mixture to the wet ingredients and mix till just combined.

Take the dough and divide it into four equal parts. Each of these four parts are rolled between parchment paper to make the cookie strata of this recipe.

This recipe calls for a lot of parchment paper. If you’ve read my previous posts, you know how I feel about Martha’s parchment addiction. The first step is admitting you have a problem, Martha!

I have a friend at work. A really nice fellow. He’s a scientist and Harley enthusiast with a heart of gold.  Which would make for a great description of a leading male character. Feel free to use it if any of you out there are working on the great American screen play.

Here, I’ll get you started:

Scene 1

(a dark and mysterious figure emerges from the shadowy end of the bar. A cloud of exhaust fumes and broken dreams waft around his strong, bearded chin. He wears a smudged lab coat of worn, white denim. His pocket protector bears a skull and crossbones and gleams with the inscription, “Born to Be Pi.” He is a scientist and a biker with a heart of gold.)

Practically writes itself, if you ask me.

Anyhoo, this friend at work and his wife have been reading my posts (for God knows what reason) and had recently run across some parchment paper they weren’t using so they donated it to me and my wack-a-doodle cookie quest. He is soooo getting cookies.

Back to the recipe.

Take each of these four parts and place between two sheets of parchment paper and roll into a 3×9  inch rectangle  1/4 inch high.

It is at this point I became frustrated. I HATE MY ROLLING PIN!

Most things that require the use of a rolling pin, also require a uniform height after using said pin. This would leave one to believe that the pin should be level. My pin is almost an inch thicker in the center than it is on the ends. It has a curve, and therefore, everything I roll out has a big dimple running through the center.

“Why did you but the stupidest rolling pin in the world?”, you might ask. The answer is simple- Peer Pressure!

When I was living in Indianapolis in the early 2000s, a friend of mine invited me to a party. I was thrilled to get out of the house and meet people. I hadn’t lived in Indianapolis very long and was eager to make new friends. A party would be the perfect place to do this. It was on a  Saturday afternoon at a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend’s home and apparently had a food theme since it was called a pampered chef party.

I had never heard of a pampered chef party. I just thought it was a hoosier thing.

When I arrived at the party, the room was filled with kitchen merchandise. A woman with the tallest hair I had ever seen pushed a plate of cucumber slices shaped like daisies under my nose. “Aren’t these just darling?” – she clucked.  Holy Saint Francis of Assisi, I had wandered into a coven of sales women.

The tall-haired woman thrust plate-after-plate of some of the blandest hors d’oeuvres imaginable under every nose in the room. Her corpulent calves became fleshy blurs as she scuttled about, handing out order forms and condiment samples so that all of us could take home a bit of the magic.

I was stuck, I couldn’t just show up, eat free snacks and leave. Two hours and sixty-five dollars later I left with a pizza stone and this really crappy rolling pin.

Before I left, the lady with the tall hair handed me another card. Not only did she do parties for kitchen supplies, she also planned parties for … well…how do I put this delicately? – She sold Sex Toys!

It was at this point I left, frantically trying to remember how many hors d’oeuvres I had consumed that contained cucumber.

That’s my rolling pin story. If I got rid of my substandard rolling pin, I might not remember it. Actually, not remembering that story might not be such a bad thing.

So, throw the rolled-out dough in the freezer for 30 minutes. Remove from the freezer, spread the red cherry jam between each layer and return the block to the freezer for an hour.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees, slice the block into 1/4 inch slices and bake for 14 minutes.

The result is a crispy cookie with a surprisingly tart and chewy filling.

I apologize for a fairly tasteless story that accompanied this really tasty cookie.

It’s not my fault.

It’s that crappy rolling pin’s.


2 Responses to “The Icebox Cometh- Striped Icebox Cookies-14 eggs, 6-3/4 cups of sugar, 6 1/4 sticks of Butter, and 9 cups of flour used so far- 167 recipes to go!”

  1. Russ Says:

    Oh dear lord…cucumbers, rolling pins and sex parties? The cookies looked nice. I’ll focus on cookies until the other images leave my brain.

  2. erin mills Says:

    andre–best rolling pin ever: huge black plastic one by OXO from target (i think). it has ball-bearings in the handles so it rolls smooth as silk and does NOT have a thicker center than it’s sides — who the heck recommended that kind of rolling pin for you!? sounds like someone wanting to play a mean trick on your cookie-baking self. seriously, get yourself to target, friend!

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